Loneliness is a very powerful feeling, and one that many people try to avoid.  Loneliness can lead to health consequences which include an increased risk of heart disease, insomnia, and depression. Loneliness can also result in destructive behaviors that include excessive drinking, drug use, compulsive shopping, and staying in unhealthy relationships due to fear of being “alone.”  Loneliness not only occurs when one is alone. Sometimes, an individual can be in a love relationship or be standing in a room with ten people and still feel lonely.  Here are a few strategies that I recommend when trying to cope with loneliness:

1. Think about what exactly is making you feel lonely? What are you needing? Whether it be friendship, companionship, sex, physical touch, intellectual conversation, it’s helpful to get at the underlying cause of what’s bringing out this emotion.
2. Reduce loneliness by making new social connections.  There are many ways to do this, and again it’s about figuring out exactly what YOU need.  A few ideas that come to mind would be to: join a Meetup group, take a Kickboxing class, sign up for an art or cooking class, or even join an online support/social group if you’re not in the mood to leave the house.
3. Reduce loneliness by helping others.  Volunteering for local events, in a school, in a hospital, at the animal shelter are excellent ways to connect with others.
4. Get over your fear of online dating. If you’ve been single for awhile, and have convinced yourself that you are “never going to meet someone again” then it’s time to stop thinking and start doing. Think about going on a few dates and have zero expectations. Don’t go into the dates wondering if this is going to be “the one.”  Go into the date thinking that you’ll just meet a new person in the world and connect with someone in humorous or intellectual conversation for an hour. Maybe you’ll never see him or her again or maybe you’ll end up with a new friend in your life.  One thing is certain, if you don’t put yourself out there and try, absolutely nothing will change.
5. Don’t compare your life to other’s lives who SEEM better than yours. This can oftentimes exacerbate feelings of loneliness.  No matter how happy, put together, successful another person might appear, we all experience feelings of sadness, worry, and loneliness at times.
6. Get a pet.  Research shows that pets can reduce feelings of sadness, increase our life span, offer love and gives us the ability to care for another. If you can’t get a dog, consider a cat.  If you’re allergic to cats, consider a bird or even some fish.

Hopefully you can use some of these strategies to help decrease feelings of loneliness. I always love to hear about how others cope with loneliness or any other uncomfortable feelings. Feel free to email me what has been helpful for you.